She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
