Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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