He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
