I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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