It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
