I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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