It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
