So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
