You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
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Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
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Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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