So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
