Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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