drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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