if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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