pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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