Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
