why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
