my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
