I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
