Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
