i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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