No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
look no pants
oh god the rape fog is back!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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