I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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