Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
