thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I AM VODKA MAN
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
did you just send me my own nude
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
