I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I have post one night stand depression
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
