Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
