Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
