walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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