if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Randomize
