apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
