I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
