There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
