she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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