I wish you could order shots online.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
