Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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