It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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