Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
