If i come over, it means nothing
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
