im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Define "chronic" masturbator.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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