I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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