Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Randomize
