soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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