i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
