i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
