sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
id be glad to
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
