It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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