My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Did I show you my penis last night?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
