Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Someone came in the potted fern
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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