that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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