He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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