I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Dignity is for republicans.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
