So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
