My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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