I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
