I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
handjob tips. give me some.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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