Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
