How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
