it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
