so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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