i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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