I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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