Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
