Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
