One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
