I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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