you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
