She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize