But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
