So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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